From as far back as I can remember, talking with my family—my parents, my mother, my older sister, and my older brother—became harder and harder. I felt like no one at home wanted to spend time with me or truly care about me. Because of that, I desperately looked for close friends at school.
But I didn’t like studying and my grades were poor, so the well-behaved classmates didn’t want to be friends with me. I felt like I was being pushed out on purpose. Inside, it hurt a lot. Feeling isolated, I naturally ended up hanging out with the so‑called “black sheep,” blending into their circle of eating, drinking, and just passing time.
Around then, I also started being exposed to drugs and other illegal ways of making quick money. When I watched my friends and drinking buddies take drugs in front of me, I was curious, but I still didn’t have the courage to try that “free” and “high” feeling myself.
After graduation, I lost contact with those friends. When I started working, I met someone who became a close friend and taught me about investing. Later, we even became business partners. I thought my life was finally getting better—until I realized it was all a lie. It had been a trap. The business collapsed, and I felt completely defeated. The pressure built up so much that I couldn’t release what I was holding inside, and I was close to breaking down.
I chose the road of drugs, and there was no turning back. Within a few months, I had no money left to buy drugs.
In the end, I chose the road of drugs, and there was no turning back. Within a few months, I had no money left to buy drugs. Without thinking seriously about how dangerous it was to sell drugs to others, I started selling tiny amounts to friends just to make a little money. Because I was scared of being caught by the police, I only delivered small quantities.
But after a while, I had nowhere to live and sometimes couldn’t even afford food. I couldn’t keep going like that. When I reached the point where I couldn’t endure it anymore, I became willing to do anything—especially after learning that helping others traffic drugs could bring in large sums of money. The drug market had huge demand. Just delivering drugs several times a day could cover all my living expenses. By then, I wasn’t afraid of things going wrong anymore—I only feared having no money to spend and no money to get drugs.
“Go up the mountain often, you’ll eventually meet the tiger.”
My plan was thwarted by the police in 2023. A substantial quantity of drugs was seized, and I was sent to Tai Lam Centre for Women on charges of “trafficking in dangerous drugs.”
When I entered Tai Lam Centre for Women, I knew life would be hard. I didn’t know when I would be free again. I had to prepare myself to live with many other people on remand, from different backgrounds. I tried to treat everyone kindly, but everyone is different, so I still worried about living together.
During this time, even when I felt sad, missed my family, or wanted my old life back, nothing could change my situation. I believe anyone in a correctional facility would find it hard to act happy. We are here to be punished and to take responsibility. At night, alone in my cell, my thoughts would run everywhere. I blamed myself for being here and for losing the simple freedom to watch movies, listen to music, or go shopping. I deeply regretted not valuing my life outside and choosing the wrong path.
After I was arrested and brought into the facility, I started this life feeling scared and unsure. Even so, I still held on to hope that I could change and become a better person.
When I think about my life outside, it was not truly easy or happy. When I was dealing drugs, I always feared the police would catch me, find drugs, and charge me. The truth is, both before and after being remanded, I was never really at peace. While waiting to go to court and be sentenced, all I could do was endure and wait.
Looking ahead, after a long time on remand and then serving my sentence, I believe I will become more mature. I will know how to face life and the future, and I will be determined to stay far away from drugs.
First, I will completely cut ties with “bad friends” and anyone who still uses drugs. I am not avoiding them because I am afraid. I am doing it because I understand clearly that drug use and drug trafficking cost me my freedom and my youth. After losing so much, I do not want to make the same mistake again.
After I finish my sentence and am released, I will hold tightly to my promise not to chase “easy quick money” through wrong actions. In prison, I have learned to take responsibility. I want to be a good Hong Kong resident and never break the law again.
If I meet people who still try to “make quick money,” I will do my best to warn them. People who don’t see the danger cannot understand how painful it is to lose freedom in prison. As someone who has experienced it, I will sincerely tell them the serious consequences of doing wrong.
I will also take part in church ministries, join others in volunteering for visits, and pray that God’s power will guide me and help me become a new person.
Note: This letter has been translated from its original in Chinese. Switch language to read the original letter.