This is a second letter from a previous post
Three months have passed since my arrest, along with my beloved partner.
We are from Ukraine, and our family is there, where the war has been ongoing for over two years. I worry every day about my family, and about my little son. You never know which home a rocket will strike.
I find myself behind bars, without internet, a phone, or contact with my relatives.
I don’t know how to hold a pen in my hands.
I feel terrible when I see news about my country, but I cannot call my mother to find out if everything is okay. I was very worried about how my mother’s heart would react when she learned that her daughter and son-in-law were deprived of freedom due to their own foolishness. I am scared that something might happen to them and I won’t find out.
Or that I will find out, but too late.
My grandmother has health problems. My mother wrote me a letter saying that she had informed my grandmother that I was arrested, and after that, I didn’t receive any letters from my mother for three weeks.
I thought my grandmother’s heart would not withstand this.
I cried when I read in the newspaper that 27 people in my hometown died due to shelling. I don’t know if my family is alive.
I think about this too much. I know it might drive me mad, and I may later need treatment in a psychiatric hospital, but I can’t stop worrying.
It is difficult without my partner. We have been together for 10 years… We were always supportive of each other. Now we don’t see each other… only letters.
I don’t know what will happen to us next. I don’t know what will happen to my family. I don’t know how old my son will be when I see him, and whether he will accept such parents…
Will my grandfather be alive? Will I see him again?
Will my grandma be alive? My mother?
I know that I made a big mistake.
I am deeply ashamed of this before my family and before God.
I realize that this awareness came too late.
Note: This letter was translated from Russian. Read the original document in the image below.
