I was arrested on September 4, 2023 for drug possession. My life began to unravel in 2016 when I gave birth to twins, but their father went to prison shortly after. 2017 was the hardest year, as my mother was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Between 2018 and 2019, after undergoing colon removal surgery, her condition stabilised but my ex-boyfriend got arrested again in 2019 and since then, my parents and I were jointly taking care of my children.
My family background has been difficult. My dad retired from his civil service job 15 years ago. My mom worked part-time as a restaurant waitress. Since both parents worked, my two sisters and I lived at our grandmother’s house. My elder sister took her own life in 2009 due to emotional struggles, causing deep pain to our family. My father also once attempted suicide but survived. To help support my family, I left school after Form 3, which I now regret. I believe staying in school might have kept me from getting involved with drugs.
The pressures weighed heavily on me. I had to care for my father, mother, children, and my own livelihood, while worrying about my mother’s health and my father’s emotional stability. To escape briefly, I began going out during my free time. During one outing, I met bad influences who introduced me to drugs. They claimed drugs relieve stress better than smoking and alcohol. I initially refused, citing family responsibilities and fear of addiction, but eventually gave in to peer pressure.
Working at a bar at night, I would finish around midnight. To avoid disturbing my family, I would stay at my colleague’s place overnight, which made it convenient to use drugs. Sometimes I was too tired to go home and would go straight back to work. I even brought drugs to use at work until I was arrested.
At first, I struggled to refuse, but peer pressure overwhelmed me. I tried a tiny bit, never expecting that seemingly insignificant amount would cost me so dearly.
Drugs were expensive, worsening my financial burden and creating a vicious cycle where I needed more drugs to relieve my increasing stress. When my regular income wasn’t enough, I was introduced to drug dealing for quick money. Blinded by greed and confusion, I didn’t realize the consequences of my actions.
After being detained, I deeply regretted my actions and realized how valuable freedom is. I was in detention for eight months before my parents visited with my eight-year-old daughter. Seeing my parents looking much older made me cry. I felt ashamed but grateful that they forgave me.
I miss my family deeply and am grateful they care for my twins. My son is temporarily with my third aunt; my daughter is with my parents. I worry about being unable to accompany my children when they need me most, during their formative years when they should be building close bonds with their mother. I’ve learned firsthand how drugs harm both users and those around them.
Reflexion
During my sentence, I’ve focused on self-improvement. I’m working to improve my education while in this institution. I’ve also found Christianity through gospel ministry visits. I’ve started praying daily and developing a devotional life. My faith has helped adjust my mindset and values while reducing my stress. I also attend Bible study classes to strengthen my spiritual life alongside my daily activities.
I have planned for after my sentence by enrolling in some distance learning courses to acquire skills, helping prepare for future job opportunities and re-entry into society. I will make good use of my sentence time to self-improve and plan for the future.
After my release, I promise to avoid drugs completely and stay away from anyone involved with them. I will use my experience to help others understand the dangers of drugs. I now understand that drug dealing isn’t a minor crime – drugs are dangerous substances that can be fatal. Anyone involved in manufacturing or selling drugs risks becoming an accomplice to suffering and death.
I only hope to return home after my sentence to care for my parents, to compensate for the time I couldn’t fulfill my filial duties, and to find legitimate work to support my children. I want them to cherish time, never waste a second, and study hard to improve themselves. Most importantly, I want to warn them not to try drugs or break the law. After release, I will work hard to properly raise my children, making every effort to help them grow up well and never follow my footsteps. I will warn others not to make the same mistakes I did.
I am truly sorry for my past mistakes. I know I cannot be easily forgiven but ask that my sentence be reduced on compassionate grounds so I can finish serving and rejoin society as soon as possible.
Note: This story is a combination of several letters and it has been translated and edited to improve the readability and clarity of the story. Switch the language to read the original in Chinese.