I am charged with manufacturing dangerous drugs, involving a cocaine case with about 1,600 grams. It was only after my arrest that I realized the seriousness of the situation. Drug offenses have sentencing guidelines, depending on the type and amount of drugs involved. For cocaine, the relevant range is between 1,200 grams to 4,000 grams, carrying a sentence of 23 to 26 years in prison!
So far, I have spent about two years in prison, and every day I feel very sad—my emotions are mixed with remorse, self-blame, and fear… especially after consecutively losing my closest family members, my father-in-law and my dad! I couldn’t even see them one last time!
One day, I saw an online recruitment ad “Quick money, no experience or education required”, and everything started from me clicking on that ad.
Prison is truly a place of punishment. It torments both one’s mind and body! The environment here is surrounded by iron bars and monitored by CCTV cameras everywhere. Even when showering or using the toilet, the facilities are open-style. Living in such a public environment, there is almost no privacy or dignity. I have to live with people of different backgrounds, character, and languages, and no matter what emotions I feel, I must not show them for fear of trouble… Every day, wake up, shower, work, eat, and follow a strict schedule—all are forcibly arranged and beyond my control.
The prison is located in Stanley. In winter, the cold makes my body stiff, and in summer, there are heat rashes from sweating. Since entering prison, I have often been sick and developed sensitive skin… Here, there is no phone or computer. To communicate with the outside world, besides writing letters and family visits, one can apply to welfare officers to send messages. However, no matter what method or information, messages cannot be received or sent promptly… During festivals, feelings of loss and emptiness intensify. I miss my family so much and can only keep recalling the past times we spent together.
I hope everyone who reads about my deeply regretful personal experience below can learn a lesson, recognize the harm caused by drugs, understand the severe consequences of committing drug offenses, and never try to break the law. Don’t let your future be destroyed with endless regrets! As long as there are people manufacturing or using drugs, the drug market will always exist—please stop this vicious cycle immediately!
My Personal Statement
I grew up with my parents, an older brother, a younger sister. I have a fiancée. I have no triad or criminal background and have never committed offenses before.
When I was in Primary 1, my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer. After about three years of treatment, she fortunately survived but unfortunately lost her ability to take care of herself and had limited mobility. My father had to leave his full-time job and became a casual laborer to care for her. My siblings and I were looked after by my paternal grandfather. As a child, I was aware of financial difficulties at home and worried about daily living expenses. I just wanted to grow up quickly to help reduce their burden.
After graduating from Form 3, I chose to drop out of school and start working. Although my education level was low and I couldn’t find high-paying jobs, with my eagerness to learn and work hard, I accumulated diverse work experience over the years in transportation and logistics, car repair, renovation, and as both Chinese and Western cuisine cook. Thanks to my good cooking skills, I performed well as a chef and earned a decent salary!
Because of a poor relationship between my brother and father, I left home when I became an adult. My sister also got married and left. I became the sole financial support for my family for many years. Despite this, I was able to take care of my family and live my own life without hardship.
Until the severe outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic severely affected the catering industry. The company I worked for had to cut costs, reducing staff and salaries. Under insufficient work hours, my pay was halved, and my other part-time jobs outside became unreliable… My income became unstable, struggling to make ends meet, barely managing to get by.
Unfortunately, in mid-2022, my father’s health deteriorated with pancreatic problems — he had blood in his urine and frequent abdominal pain. Frequent urination caused him to quit his job. When accompanying him to the clinic, the doctor suggested he needed hospital examinations, suspecting cancer. At public hospital specialist clinics, there are long wait times, so I planned to arrange a private hospital check-up for him, but the medical fees were exorbitant.
Besides daily expenses for my parents, I had to prepare for these costly private medical fees, pushing me to search for more jobs.
One day, I saw an online recruitment ad “Quick money, no experience or education required”, and everything started from me clicking on that ad. Even though I knew the job was illegal, I still chose to follow the instructions. Eventually, I was arrested. Not only did I fail to get the medical fees, but I also destroyed my own future. After my arrest, one day my father suddenly lost consciousness and was admitted to the emergency room. It was confirmed that he had bladder cancer. His condition deteriorated rapidly over several months as cancer spread throughout his body; he passed away in October 2024.
When I learned of my father’s death and his final words—including him saying he felt like a burden to me—I was truly heartbroken and filled with self-blame. In truth, it was all because I made the wrong decisions. Sometimes I even think my father’s condition worsened so quickly due to the heavy blow after I got into trouble.
If time could turn back, if I could choose again I definitely would not choose this “job”. But unfortunately, there are no “ifs”…
I acknowledge my mistakes and accept that I must be punished. But I hope to be released early. I want to bow at the graves of my father-in-law and father; I want to accompany my still-living mother; I want to be a good husband and build a family with my fiancée. I truly, truly, truly regret it. Finally, I call on everyone again to think carefully before making any decision!
Note: This story is a combination of several letters and it has been translated and edited to improve the readability and clarity of the story. Switch the language to read the original in Chinese.