This is the story of a heartbroken mother who suffers without her children.
I am a 34 year old Zimbabwean in a Hong Kong prison. I have 3 children. I separated from my husband in 2019.
I was pregnant with my third child when I left my husband and moved to Harare (capital of Zimbabwe) in February 2020. I left my eldest son under the care of my parents back in my village.
I started a second-hand clothes trade business but then the Covid pandemic hit and that’s when things started to become very difficult. I was only managing to earn a small amount of money at that time, so I started to look for a job as a domestic helper, but I couldn’t find because I was pregnant. It was hard for me to get any other job as I didn’t complete my education. My parents didn’t have enough money to pay for my school fees.
During the years of 2021 and 2022 life became very hard. I lived with my children and worked tirelessly to support them. I never received any assistance from my family or my ex-husband. When I would ask him for help he would tell me “I can’t because things are hard for me and I am failing to support my family as well.” So I decided to ask the bank for a loan. The bank agreed and I started to travel to other countries again to get second-hand clothes to sell. But the world’s situation hadn’t changed.
A few months later I found myself in a moment of desperation. I was unemployed, had many overdue bills and payment for rent. I didn’t even have enough money to send my kids to school. When I tried selling in the street, the police chased us away because I had no papers. Every time and again my kids got sent back from school because I hadn’t paid their school fees. To make matters worse, I got sick and had no one to help me with money to take care of my health, and my three kids.
I’m living with HIV and diabetes, to get these medicines I need a lot of money because the pills were very hard to get in our country during the pandemic. I was living day-to-day. I would spend my nights crying and feeling lost seeing my children at home always and because of my poor health.
The bank now wanted me to finish the payment and the interest was increasing every month.
Looking for an answer
It was on 8 June that an acquaintance offered me a job and said that the payment would be a great help for me. She told me about travelling to different countries to deliver the pills. She promised me that it’s a two-week journey. At this moment I was happy that I found a solution to my problem. I accepted the offer.
One week after I talked to this acquaintance about the offer, another woman talked to me on WhatsApp, and asked me to send her my passport photo. She told me that they needed to prepare my travel documents. On 16 June 2023 I travelled to South Africa where I met two Nigerian men who came to pick me up and take me to where they stayed. On 18 June at around 10:00 pm I went to the airport and flew to Freetown, Sierra Leone.
I arrived there at 5:00 pm, and there were two men waiting for me. They took me to a hotel. We didn’t stay there for long, after about 25 minutes, a man and a woman (his wife) came into the room. They were both Nigerians but they spoke in English. The man asked me if I was sure to do the job. I replied to him “yes” without further enquiring. I wasn’t afraid of hard work, I didn’t realise at that time that it was such a serious matter.
They returned the next morning with two other men. They told me that they would buy me the things I was going to need for the trip, including my flight ticket. They told me that I should pay them back after I finish the job. I accepted it without hesitation. Feeling as though it was nothing short of a miracle. I stayed in the hotel only a week and then I moved out to stay in their house.
When we reached their house they asked me to give them my passport and my money for safekeeping. I agreed, mostly because I saw many people coming in and out of their house.
It was on 16 August 2023 at around 10:15 pm when I heard a loud knock on my room’s door. It woke me up in a jolt. When I opened the door there were seven men including the owner of the house. I was really scared.
“It’s unfortunate that the country you are going to doesn’t allow these pills at the airport, so you have to ingest them.”
I laughed at first thinking they were joking with me. Then another man told me that I should start ingesting the pills and stop wasting time…
I was told to pack my things and be ready now that “the pills” were here and I was to travel the next morning. They didn’t tell me where I was going to, but they said “It’s unfortunate that the country you are going to doesn’t allow these pills at the airport, so you have to ingest them.” My fear increased after hearing that. One of the men left my bedroom and came back with a bowl with plastic inside, they removed the pills from the plastic and placed them in the bowl. I laughed at first thinking they were joking with me. Then another man told me that I should start ingesting the pills and stop wasting time because my flight was at 8:00 am the next morning.
I began ingesting them as they were watching and managed to ingest 90 capsules but it was getting painful. I couldn’t help myself so they gave me some medicine to help me feel better.
When I asked about my safety they told me that there was no problem, these pills posed no harm to me. They assured me that all would be fine.
The pills were packed in capsule format, the size of a thumb. They said each pill was only 10g, I don’t know how much they it sell for. They taught me how I needed to walk and talk so as to not attract any attention from the Customs police.
Persona non grata
On 19 August 2023, I arrived at Hong Kong International Airport and was stopped by Customs who questioned me extensively. They subjected me to a strip search and took an x-ray because they were not going to allow me to enter Hong Kong, and I was getting deported. But after the x-ray they found me with the pills and I was arrested for drug trafficking. All I could think of was my children and how foolish I was to believe that that money was a miracle answer.
Since 23 August 2023 I’ve been in prison where I can only hear from my family once a month. I feel a void inside me, knowing that in a moment of desperation, I lost my life, my children, my health. I live with HIV and diabetes, I need medicine everyday. I lost my freedom. My children will grow up without me and think that I abandoned them. What will happen to them as they grow up? I did not want my children to grow up the same way I did. My family were poor, they got me married at the age of 16 and my husband left me for another woman. He passed to me a disease which I was struggling to treat in my country.
What was the money worth if it came with pain, tears, and despair. What was the point if it took me away from my children? Was the money worth it? I live and wake each day in fear of spending 25 years in prison and missing my children’s entire lives. Regrets haunt me constantly. No amount of money is worth this pain.
To those who may consider this path, I implore you not to use anyone’s pain and despair to justify it. And to the men and women who deceived me, promising to help and ultimately taking away a mother like me, stop preying on vulnerable people. Only those who have hit rock bottom understand the pain and are unable to play the role of a mother, knowing their kids will grow up without being surrounded by the love that only a mother can give.
Today I pray and ask the Judge to give me a second chance and not let my kids grow up without a mother because I, like many people know how it hurts not to have that love. And for those who, like me, were “mules” I hope that they understand that trafficking is not a solution and that once you go to jail, it’s hard to get out. Here there is only tears, despair, and longing.
Do not believe in false help, where the end result brings you to prison, where your mind becomes your enemy as memories of happy moments bring you to tears for not being able to relive them. Where there is only pain and loneliness, instead of hugs, kisses, and I love you from those who truly cares about you.
Trafficking or anything else that takes away your children, family or freedom is not worth it. No amount of money can take away the pain of not having my kids with me. I’m not a criminal, I am a mother who found herself in despair. I dream that soon I will have a warm embrace of my three beautiful babies.
Before accepting any solution consider how painful the consequences are. And if you find yourself in danger of being locked up, run far away.
Note: This letter was written in both English and Shona. Some editing and grammatical corrections have been made to improve the clarity of the story.
