I come from a single-parent family. My father passed away when I was 20 years old, leaving my mother and younger sister dependent on me.
My mother is not from Hong Kong; she came to take care of us on a two-way permit. We relied on social assistance to survive. At that time, my father was suffering from stomach cancer, and my mother had to care for him every day, making our lives very difficult. This situation led me to become very rebellious, and I fell in with the wrong crowd, embarking on a path of no return.
“Just give it a try; don’t worry, you won’t get addicted.” I tried it. After that first hit, I wanted to continue, and I couldn’t stop.
Those so-called friends offered me drugs, leading me deeper into addiction. I started using methamphetamine,. I still clearly remember their words when they first encouraged me to try it: “Just give it a try; don’t worry, you won’t get addicted.” I tried it once. After that first hit, I wanted to continue, and I couldn’t stop.
In the following days, I kept using meth, but using drugs requires money. Where would my money come from? I had to steal, rob, and deceive! I would snatch phones, grab handbags, and steal money from my friends just to buy drugs. Eventually, I met some people with triad backgrounds and entered the underworld, following a boss. The drug circles I was exposed to grew larger and larger. Initially, a small amount of drugs was enough, but gradually I began to use larger quantities and a broader variety, including ketamine, cocaine, meth, and marijuana. The money I earned increased, and it became easier to obtain.
I remember one time I had a drug stash in a hotel room. After using drugs, I went out. As I closed the door behind me, police suddenly appeared from all directions, they had been lying in wait. They pushed me to the ground, pulled out a search warrant, and searched my room. They found the drugs and as a result, I was arrested and sentenced to four years in prison.
During my time in prison, I interacted with many criminals from all walks of life, and we inevitably shared our experiences. This exposed me to even more criminal activities. The prison cell became a platform for crime, pulling me deeper into a vortex of wrongdoing, and making it harder to escape.
In the last 9 years, between 2015 and 2024, I have spent less than a year in freedom. Every time I was released it took less than a few months before I committed another crime and ended up back in prison. But I have had enough. I don’t want to spend another day in a cell, living without freedom and unable to breathe fresh air. I am tired of it. I need to pull myself out of this cycle of incarceration.
This time after being released, I will seriously change my ways. I have wasted too much time and lost too much. In the end, what do I have? Nothing. I have lost my family, my friends, my youth, and my time. I would rather find a legitimate job and work hard. During my time in prison, I enrolled in many courses and earned some certificates to plan for my future after release. I feel very sorry for my family and for those who had expectations of me. So, this time after being released, I will not let them down and will strive to be a person who contributes to society.
First arrest
I remember the first time I was detained, it left a very sad and tragic memory. I have a strong impression of that day because it was the first time in my life I was arrested. I remember being stopped by the police on the street for an ID check, and then they found drugs on me, so I was arrested. It was three in the morning, and I felt helpless. After being taken to the police station and given my statement, they requested to search my home. Since it was early morning, my family was asleep, and I was really worried and scared. I feared that when the police searched our home, my family would ask what crime I was arrested for, as they had no idea I was involved in drug trafficking. I was terrified of them finding out that I was arrested for dealing drugs.
Of course, the truth would eventually come out. When I went to court, my family learned that I was in prison for drug trafficking. Being detained for the first time was very frightening for me. I didn’t know anyone there, and there were many tattooed men around. As a newcomer, I had to do whatever they asked of me, such as cleaning the toilets, mopping the floors, and wiping tables; I didn’t dare to resist. My family often came to visit me and tried to comfort me.
At that time, I had a two-year-old son with my girlfriend. When she brought him to visit me, my son asked, “Daddy, why are you behind that glass? I want you to hold me!” When I heard that, I burst into tears and replied, “Daddy is here working to earn money to buy you candy, so I can’t hold you right now. You need to listen to your mom, and when daddy earns enough money, I will come out to hold you and take you to buy candy.” My son responded, “I understand, Daddy. I will be good. You must work hard!” Hearing his comforting words made me very sad. After all, I was lying to him because I didn’t want him to know I was in prison and that it would affect his growth and create shadows in his life.
My motivation came from my family and my son visiting me, giving me hope. A year later, when my family came to visit me, I received news that my cousin, with whom I had grown up, had died in a car accident. At that moment, I couldn’t control my emotions. I cried during meals and woke up in tears from nightmares. There was even one incident where I got into a fight with another inmate over a verbal dispute and was put in solitary confinement. My family found out about this and scolded me because my fighting resulted in an extended sentence. After that experience in solitary confinement, I engraved it in my mind not to make mistakes that would lead to more time in prison and worry for my family.
Time flies, and my son grew up. My girlfriend stopped bringing him to visit me. She left me because she couldn’t wait for my release. At that time, the pain of missing my son was unbearable. Because of one stint in prison, I lost so much. I remember spending New Year’s and the Mid-Autumn Festival in prison, watching advertisements on TV about family reunions. Sometimes I longed to embrace my family, even if just for a second; that longing was intense. It was only in prison that I realized how precious freedom is, how valuable family is, and that love is also something precious. I used to take everything for granted, unaware of my blessings. I hope no one ends up like me, realizing too late that it was all in vain, leading to the loss of family and loved ones!
One piece of advice
I believe that after reading about my experience, you will understand that committing a crime means having to serve time in prison, which separates you from your family. Losing your freedom is a truly tragic and terrible thing. After looking at my experience, you will also understand that the tricks of criminals are endless, making it hard for everyone to defend themselves. I hope you do not make the same mistakes I did.
Especially with youths, they are very enticing, believing that since you are a minor, even if you get caught by the police, the court won’t punish you too harshly. This is a misconception; the punishment won’t be light.
First, you will inevitably have some bad friends around you. Illegal activities often stem from bad influences. For example, some friends with triad backgrounds or who are involved in shady dealings boast about their lifestyle every day. Most of them want to show you how easy it is to make quick money. They want to recruit more new blood and members, revealing to you what you can do to earn even more money. Especially with youths, they are very enticing, believing that since you are a minor, even if you get caught by the police, the court won’t punish you too harshly. This is a misconception; the punishment won’t be light.
You must remember that even if you get arrested, you won’t be sentenced immediately. You will at least be placed in a detention center. The court dates keep getting postponed, dragging on until you are sentenced, at which point you may already be an adult. So your maximum sentence could be “life imprisonment.” Do you understand what I’m saying? Because during my time in prison, I saw many examples of this.
There are many criminals out there who, keeping up with the times, use social media and the internet to make quick money. They often just need to click a button to send out thousands of phishing messages in one go, using these messages to steal your personal information. Therefore, if you receive unexpected messages, please be extra cautious. Don’t click on them or provide your personal and banking information, as this will give criminals opportunities to exploit you.
Although engaging in illegal activities can earn you a lot of money, nine out of ten end up with nothing in the end. Once you get that money, it often gets spent on gambling, drugs, or other vices, so whatever you earn will just go to waste, leaving you with nothing. Moreover, you live in constant fear. There is no day of peace; you worry about when you might be arrested, fear being hunted down by rivals, and dread when something might go wrong.
So I sincerely hope you avoid even the slightest chance of getting involved in this kind of activity or with these kinds of people. It’s better to find a legitimate job and live a stable life because easy money is never truly valued. I have been there. I used to think, “Money is so easy to get; if I lose it, I can just find more!” But the money earned through hard work and perseverance is the kind you will cherish.
After being released this time, I will stay away from my old circles, find a legitimate job, work hard, and improve myself. At the very least, I want to be someone who contributes to society and is worthy of myself and my family. Thank you all!
Note: This letter has been translated and edited to improve the readability and clarity of the story. Switch language to read the letters in the original Chinese.