I am currently incarcerated at Lo Wu Correctional Institution for drug trafficking.
My life has been marked by significant challenges from an early age. My parents divorced when I was just five months old, and I was raised solely by my father, who worked long hours to support us. This meant I spent very little time with him. My mother remarried and started another family, leaving me with little guidance. I lacked supervision and, compared to my peers, became willful and unruly. My father, a traditional man, introduced me to smoking and drinking at just 10 years old.
Seeking warmth and love, I began dating at 11. By 13, I was pregnant and wanted to keep the baby, believing my boyfriend would support me. However, my parents insisted I have an abortion, thinking I was too young to care for a child. This led to my temporary suspension from school, and I never returned after ninth grade.
… my father passed away from acute liver disease… His sudden death left me feeling guilty for not being there in his final moments, prompting a brief attempt to quit drugs. However, financial struggles with my boyfriend led me back to drug dealing as a means of survival…
Following the abortion, my rebellious behavior intensified, culminating in frequent arguments with my father, including a physical fight that resulted in police involvement. The police suggested a child protection order, leading to a month-long stay at a girls’ home for counseling. Unfortunately, I met more delinquent friends there and exchanged contact information, which only exacerbated my situation.
After leaving the youth hostel, I began using drugs and partying with my new friends. My rebellious nature led me to run away from home and seek out drugs and alcohol daily. By the age of 14, I was addicted. Each time I was placed in a youth hostel, I met more delinquents and learned how to sell small amounts of drugs to support my addiction.
When I turned 17, my father passed away from acute liver disease. Having lived with my boyfriend since I was 14, I had little contact with my father. His sudden death left me feeling guilty for not being there in his final moments, prompting a brief attempt to quit drugs. However, financial struggles with my boyfriend led me back to drug dealing as a means of survival after we broke up when I turned 18.
By 21, I was arrested for drug trafficking and sentenced to 44 months at Lo Wu Correctional Institution. Due to good behavior, I was released after 29 months. Determined to change my life, I avoided old friends and started working as a hairdressing assistant shortly after my release.
However, my progress was short-lived. In December 2020, my salon closed due to the pandemic, and I lost my job. Struggling to find new work, I fell victim to an online scam that drained my savings. I considered reaching out to my mother for help, but I didn’t want to burden her, as she was caring for her elderly husband and mother-in-law.
In desperation, I reconnected with old friends who suggested transporting drugs, claiming it was a low-risk way to make money during the pandemic. My boyfriend joined me in this endeavor, and despite my reservations, I felt trapped by our financial situation.
In prison, I lack freedom and meaningful communication. Each visit is short, and physical contact is forbidden. I can only express my emotions through letters, counting the days in solitude.
In March 2021, while transporting drugs, we were arrested. I felt immense regret and confusion. My boyfriend urged me to confess, promising to visit and support my mother. Initially, he did visit regularly, but as soon as he was released on bail, he distanced himself and began deceiving my mother for money.
When I learned of his betrayal through my mother’s letters, I felt devastated. I was isolated in prison, unable to act or communicate effectively. Visits from my mother were infrequent and brief, leaving me feeling abandoned and guilty for her sacrifices.
In prison, I lack freedom and meaningful communication. Each visit is short, and physical contact is forbidden. I can only express my emotions through letters, counting the days in solitude. Knowing my family is unwell adds to my anguish, and I cannot celebrate holidays with them.
I urge everyone not to let financial struggles lead you into the trap of drug trafficking. The regret of being arrested is profound; you lose your freedom, precious time with your family, and the opportunity to enjoy life. Delinquent friends will abandon you once they’ve used you for their gain. They do not care for you; they exploit your vulnerabilities.
Be cautious if asked to sign for or transport something, as it may involve drugs. When seeking job opportunities that seem too good to be true, be wary, as they may be scams.
I recommend finding stable, legitimate employment. Upon my release, I hope to return to my hair salon and support my mother. I promise to avoid past mistakes, engage in lawful work, and carefully choose my friends, focusing on honoring and caring for my mother.
Note: This letter has been translated and edited to improve the readability and clarity of the story. Switch language to read the letters in the original Chinese.