I started using drugs at the age of 13 and have been using them for 17 years. Methamphetamine, primarily. At first, I was influenced by my peers… I was curious and used them for fun. But when things got difficult at home, constant arguments and scoldings, I decided to run away and joined a group of drug users, thus becoming a drug addict.
At first, I didn’t realise the drugs were doing me any harm since I didn’t seem to have any averse reactions to them. I only saw the effect it had on others, symptoms such as sleeplessness, obsessive behaviour, hallucinations, thoughts of self-harm, and losing control of their emotions.
Once, after seven years of use, I was stopped by the police on the street, and they found methamphetamine on me. It was my first arrest. At that moment, I felt extremely scared and helpless. Later, I was convicted in court and sent to a rehabilitation center. The care of my two children fell on my grandmother, who also had to bear the burden of visiting me in the rehabilitation center. Seeing her go through all that made me feel deeply guilty. I had lost the family’s only economic support. My children lost their mother and that had a huge impact on their mental, emotional and physical well-being. My family was heartbroken.
My children lost their mother and that had a huge impact on their mental, emotional and physical well-being. My family was heartbroken.
As a drug user, I wandered in the drug scene and later met a “drug lord”. When he saw that I spent a lot of money on drugs and sometimes needed to borrow, he pretended to be generous and persuaded me to help him transport drugs and collect money in exchange for free drugs and a profit.
During this time, I helped friends obtain drugs, which provided me with some clientele. Seeing this, he encouraged me to try running my own operation by purchasing large quantities of drugs at a lower price, then splitting and reselling them, claiming it would make me self-sufficient and even earn more money. They often saw through our greed and took advantage of us.
I was eventually arrested for trafficking dangerous drugs and have been in custody for nearly two years. During this time, many things have happened at home. My children have been psychologically affected and exhibit self-harming behavior. My grandmother needed surgery and suddenly passed away. We lacked the funds for her funeral, needing to borrow from others. My children have been forced to live in a dormitory for an extended period. After these events, I felt the impermanence of life and helplessness, and I deeply regret my actions.
I was raised by my grandparents, and when they were ill, I could not be there to care for them or accompany them through their final moments. While they were suffering, they still had to worry about me and my children. When my children experienced emotional problems, I could not fulfill my responsibilities as a mother to comfort and care for them. I am now facing a lengthy prison sentence.
I have come to realize that money is not the most important thing; family is what truly matters. Time spent with loved ones cannot be bought with money, and I must cherish what I have now. While in prison, I have found God and became a Catholic. Through daily prayers and studying the Bible, I have found inner peace. I also understand that I must take responsibility for my mistakes. Although I have lost time in the past, there is still the future, and I can cherish the people and things to come. Through prayers to the Heavenly Father, my problems are gradually being resolved. Thank you, Heavenly Father!
There is no gain without effort in this world. As the saying goes, “Don’t be greedy for cheap things.” The price we pay is often beyond our estimation, even resulting in a lifetime of lost freedom.
Therefore, I advise everyone to think about the impact of their actions on their families before doing anything foolish. You’ll lose your freedom and must pay the corresponding price. Say NO to drugs.
Note: This letter has been translated and edited to improve the readability and clarity of the story. Switch language to read the letters in the original Chinese.